Small October update......

Hi all....stopping in to link up my blog to my hubby new "geek" game (sorry to anyone i might offend calling them a geek if you play this game...lol) If you want to become a virtual reality trucker click on the link above.

we are doing good here. school is going ok for kiddo. having a hard time still being prepared for different classes. she is also showing her true "tween" attitude of late with me and im having a hard time ...it always seems like we are arguing.

im no longer at the video store and have been working at one of the local grocery stores in their meals to go area. we do the cold case salads, pizzas to order and also a hot case with fried chicken, wings, baked whole chicken, fries, small cooked hams. its a very busy area of the store and im never bored or have time to relax. only working 2 shifts a week which is what i want.

my knee is doing so so. like before i have good days and bad days. just have to remember to take my pills.

hope all is well with you. big hugs and talk to you again soon.

summer is almost over.....

today feels like a nice early Fall day. sun is out and a slight breeze is blowing. the air is cool but not too cold to need a sweater. just a beautiful day out.

got all of kiddos school supply shopping done this morning. $61.00 lighter but lots to show for. im just hoping we got everything she needs even though we got everything on her list there always seems to be something else that is needed later. in addition to her normal supplies she needed....she wanted some things for her locker. this is her first year with a locker and im excited for her about this and pretty much gave in to all the little goodies she wanted to decorate it.

this past weekend i was hit with a wicked flu bug of some sort. it hit me mid day friday and by friday night i was down for the count. saturday i just felt ick all day and all i wanted to do was sleep. slept most of saturday away as well as sunday.

today im feeling almost back to normal. ALMOST. all i know is what ever i had it was bad and wiped me out big time for 48 hours.

my knee is still an issue....no changes with it.

nothing else much going on here. ok fine i lied. but the couple of things that are going on i would rather not put on here due to privacy issues....and well you know how that can be...some things just dont belong on the world wide web.

my step dad is home and doing ok. taking lots of meds and just taking one day at a time. my mom is frustrated with all she has to do at the house...taking care of my sisters 3 kids during the day as well as my stepdad. she is tired but like him...is taking one day at a time. thats all she can do. i just feel sad after talking to her cuz i hear it in her voice how tired, depressed, angry she is...its not her normal chipper way about her. this past year or so has really changed her attitude toward things that normally rolled off her back. so odd to have her this way.

lets see what else.....our 5 year wedding anniversary is coming up on the 30th. i have to say in reguards to my love life.....the past 5 years has been the best i have had in over a decade. he is the love of my life and im so glad i found him when i did.

enough mushy mush. hope all is well with you.
big hugs

Anybody still there?......

Just sat here trying to think of what to say on why i havent blogged in over two weeks now. I guess its plain and simple....just havent been in the mood.

first week I was busy with kiddo being gone at camp....and well you know...spending time with hubby and doing other stuff.

I also did some spring cleaning (in the summer) and got rid of lots of stuff. still have our bedrooms to do...but it was a start.

im off work until after september 10th and then im back a couple days a week. im going to see how it goes and decide if its worth the extra little bit of a paycheck or not.

my knee has been so-so...i have good days and bad days no matter what i do i never know how my day is going to be until i get up in the morning and get going. its so odd i can do nothing and it will still be killing. i really hate having this knee problem.

as of this past thursday my stepdad is in the hospital again for breathing problems. he has had ongoing problems now for over a year and things arent getting better...only worse. the doctor has told my mom that they really cant do much more for him and it can be anytime now. this information just has me in a funk and just feeling depressed about the whole thing. im sad for him and im worried about my mom.

there is so much more to this but i will just get more upset talking about it so im not going to right now. i have to decide what im going to do if and when he passes if im going to fly back for the funeral or wait until after all of that and then go after to just be there for my mom. the hard part about all this is deciding to go at all. it would cost me over a thousand dollars to go. i have it on my credit card but its just the fact of using and not having it for things here. and then there is the whole thing about, do i take kiddo with me or not. if i do...that even more money and we really dont have that to spare....so that is easy to decide....but it still bugs me not taking her. if i dont take her will she be ok without me here for 2 weeks while im gone? if i do go im sure it will be after school starts and i always like being here for her with school stuff....even more so right now since she is going to be going to a different school this year (junior high) and dealing with class changing and all that stuff.

i worry about everything. every detail. i was up last night for 2 hours just laying there thinking about things. just have to wait and see what happens and go from there. just dont like being unprepared and no have some kind of plan.

anyway....i added some more trip pictures this morning and still have more to add.

hope you are doing well. hugs

update: spoke with my mom and my step dad is going to be going home today from hospital for now. they have his breathing under control but doctor did say they cant do much more for him other then the meds he is on now. each hospital visit is getting closer to the other each time. so now we just take one day and week at a time.

YIKES!

*sigh* one more day of being 39. for some reason this birthday is not sitting well with me. i know the saying is "you're only as old as you feel" but this past year i have been feeling way older cuz of my health stuff and now this birthday is taking me out of the 30's.

oh well...at least im here to bitch and complain about it...lol tomorrow is the start of me being in my 40's. YIKES.

hugs to you ...have a great tuesday.

big comfy couch.....(long post)

First off let me start by saying that I just havent been in the mood to post anything on my blog. I lay in bed sometimes thinking of all this stuff i could write and its actually quite witty and full of details. but when i finally get up and sit in front of this beast nothing comes to me but whining and ramble. *shrugs* so i just dont post.

I feel that an update is overdue here...so here goes....

this past week has been a week of very little sleep for me and almost no sleep for dear hubby. his cough has just be horrible. last monday or tuesday (i forgot which day) he went to the doctors and was told at the time that all he could really do is tough it out and drink lots of hot steamy liquid to loosen up the mucus. as the week went on it stayed the same but then on thurday night it seem to get worse and friday was the most misserable for him.

i have to add that he has been so sweet going out into the living room to let me TRY and sleep while he sat up coughing out there. i didnt sleep much...i just wanted to take care of him and make sure he was ok. i think its that "mother" thing in all of us that push us to care for someone else then ourselves.

after i got home from work friday i got us some dinner and then at about 7:45 we decided we better go to the urgent care/emergency room. the reason we didnt want to wait the weekend and see our own doctor was that now when he coughed he was getting very short of breathe and almost choked a couple times getting stuff up.

we arrived at the ER at 8pm and waited. we waited until 11pm to just get into a room. then at midnight he was sent for a chest xray....and then just before 1am the doctor came in and saw him. he prescribed a nebulizer (sp?) and meds w/saline to help loosen up stuff and sent him home. we were sure they would put him in the hospital just in case...but they didnt since his chest was showing clear at the time.

since it was 1:00am in the morning the pharmacy of course was closed so he coughed all night in the living room while i tried to sleep since i had to be at work at 9:30am the next morning. i got up at 7:30am...showered and headed out the pharmacy that opened at 8am. got his stuff, came home and showed him how to use the machine and administer the dosage needed into it. then off to work i went.

considering how dead tired i was at work i was over compensating it by being the nicest person i could be....lol nobody pissed me off and i wasnt grumpy at all. i was actually sweet as punch and i actually had a few customers even say how helpful and kind i was....lol...little do they know how i was really feeling. i was able to get the next shift person to come in a little early and i went home just after 2pm.

the machine is definitly helping his cough loosen up but he is still coughing and not sleeping. he is just exhausted and i feel so bad for him. he would be so much better if he could get just one good night sleep.

work sunday for me was slow so it made for a really really long day. so on the way home i stopped at M&M Meats and got something quick to pop in the oven for dinner so i didnt have to cook.

hubby stayed in the living room again for me since i laid down at 6:30pm and fell asleep for a few hours. he came in the room at 4am and just wanted to be comfy in bed for a bit and would go back out if his cough bothered me. will....his cough kicked in again and i went to the living room letting him have the bed since i dont have work today and he needed the comfy bed more then me. i watched some news on tv...had a bowl of cherrios and then fell back to sleep about 6am and back up again at 7am to get kiddo going for school today.

i asked hubby how he was doing today and we decided if no change we were going to see our doctor this morning to see what he says and let him know what happened over the weekend.

so that was my week.....how are you doing?

just a little shade of blue......

as a parent there are days you just wonder why you are a parent. yesterday i felt like the i should have won the worst parent award. for some reason lately kiddo and i have not been seeing eye to eye on anything. from how i see it....all she seems to do is argue every little thing with me...everything!

anyway...yesterday morning wasnt the best and i know we didnt leave on good terms when i dropped her off for school because we always say "i love you" before she gets out of the car and i got nothing but a cold shoulder. i called her back to the car window after she got out and told her that i loved her and she say "ok" but nothing else. i was so upset i gave her a line my gave me a few times when i was a snot. the line....."how bad would you feel if something happened to me today and this is the last time you see me?" she shrugged it off and grunted out..."love you" as she turned and walked away.

i was so upset i cried all the way home. cleared off my face....went back inside the house to finish getting ready to head out for the day with hubby. i was in such a funk all morning. the 45 minute drive into the next town was quiet. we did our stop to CAA for trip stuff and then into Linens N Things and bought a few things because we kinda needed them and i was in the mood to shop. i still dont like buying things just for myself but we bought things for the house.

headed to Michaels for a couple things kiddo needs for a school project and then went to lunch. made hubby pick where he wanted to go...i wasnt in the mood to eat or decide where to eat.
while we waited to order hubby had to step away...as he was away i was on the verge of tears from the events that happened earlier...im just glad he came back quick cuz i almost lost it right there at the table.

we ate at Eastside Marios and found it very good considering im normally not one for italian food as my choice of foods. i had fettichini afredo with shrimp...yummm. dont remember what hubby had but it was some pasta filled things with a nice cheesy sauce.

i feel like my anti -depressents (sp?) are playing tug of war the was two days now. i was feeling very leveled out the past few weeks. nothing bad but nothing good....just ok. for me that is good...the lows arent there like they were 2 months ago. but yesterday and today are so hard for me.

I had to go to the doctors today also because those acid pills i was taking the past few weeks havent really helped and have had 2 other major attacks of gas and abdominal pain from it since taking the pills so i had to go in and let him know. we have ruled out now that its not an acid problem. so....next step is to work our way down from the tummy. we are trying something else now that i have to take now with every meal. long story on what we think it might be and just too much TMI also. either way....i started something new today.

also since the acid thing isnt what is causing my gas and discomfort i can go back on my knee pills also. THANK YOU! my knee is almost back to the way it was before starting the knee meds...meaning i get sharp pains just sitting and doing nothing, sleeping, etc.

im just so frustrated with my health lately. but i am thankful that my anti-depressents are somewhat helping me cuz i know i would be in the dark hole if i wasnt. im only halfway down that hole right now...its KINDA undercontrol (just barely).

work both saturday and sunday this weekend. mother in law isnt coming since im working and i felt a little over whelmed with work, and everything at once to make each night go smooth before going out either to bingo or and evening out with hubby. so she said another time....which is so nice of her. my mental state isnt the greatest lately and she understands that.

enough of my ramble today...just feeling a bit down and tired of feeling sick and tired of the pain in my knee. thank you for listening to me.

hope you are well.....big hugs to you.

I guess an update is overdue.....

So on easter sunday most of the town was snowed in and the roads were crap. our street finally got plowed out sometime after noon and our property management plow did the driveway just after 1pm. i headed out to work about 1:25 taking a bit long to get there with the roads being a bit slushy and full of drifts.

when i get closer to work i notice the parking lot was just being plowed and couldnt get in so i parked it in the next parking lot over until he was done...getting into work just after 2pm and opening the store at 2:20pm. i had a total of 4 customers in 3 hours. i just dont understand why we even had to open that day at all.

I almost didnt get out of there at 5:30 (actually left at 5:50pm) cuz my relief person that was to work at 5pm showed up and then said he had to leave after being there for only 5 minutes because he was having a panic attack and just bolted. its bad enough that i had to work easter sunday and put all my family stuff on hold until i get home but it was managable...then this. i was pissed. so i called the manager to let him know what happened. with all this going on hubby is sick also with a flare up of his diverticulious and i had to get to the drug store before it closed at 6pm in addition to fixing easter dinner for my family.

the manager first said he would come and let me head out to the pharmacy and then come back to work the rest of the day. i was somewhat shocked and i think i sounded a bit angry with him and told him i couldnt i had family things going on at home and i was supposed to be off at 5:30 even if i had only worked 3 hours. my family comes first in my world.

so manager came in since one of the other girls was snowed in and the other guy we have working for us doesnt know how to run the store on his own. we are short staffed again...can you tell?

easter sunday was the longest day in my life for some reason. the stress of getting out of the house that morning then the fiasco with "panic attack boy" and feeling bad for the manager to come in on his day off. but im sorry to say this....thats why HE is the manager and IM NOT.

hubby as been sick all weekend with major pains in his side and taking my tylenol#2 to help ease the pain until we can get him into the doctors monday morning. kiddo had been sick also this weekend with a major sinus cold...so she was lucky to have that 4 day weekend.

doctor wrote hubby out of work for a few days for his symptoms to calm down with antibiotics and pain meds. he is doing a little better today (weds). not sure yet if he is going to work tomorrow.

this post is turning into whine central.....

one comment about my knee....its killing me. still havent been able to go back onto my knee meds just yet so its just not a topic of great joy with me.

other then that things are just grand. im sure there are other things i can ramble about but my mind went blank on my just now for some reason. hope you had a wonderful easter weekend and start to the work week.

hugs to you...

To the doctor I go....

my last post was no april fools joke...I wish it was. Last night was so bad for me that hubby urged me to see the doctor this morning....which I did. from what the doctor could figure out I have big time acid problem with possible burning going on....who knew that could cause such gas problems? anyway...he gave me a prescription for Omerprazole and told me that if he is right I should be feeling better by friday. if not I have to go see him on friday again and we go from there. the pills he said will take a couple days to work so i have to hang in there. the bad part in all this is i have to stop my knee pills until my stomach problems are done cuz those meds can irritate what ever is going on even more.

all i know is im tired of feeling like crap. if it isnt one thing its another and i told the doctor i feel like im falling apart before i even hit 40 and im scared for what is to come as i get older.

hope you have a good monday...hugs :)

put on your gas mask.....

wow this blog lately has turned into my "sick" blog. all this past week i have been sick again with some stupid gastro/intestinal thing. NOT FUN. i have been nauseous and crampy. to put it nicely....if human gas could power the electricity in my house i would have my lights and everything else on 24/7 here and not worry about my bill at the end of the month. oh...and if there were any spiders or other creatures in this house...their dead now with all this fumigating i have been doing.

last night was the only night this week i had to work. guess what? i went...but ended up asking one of the others to extend their shift so i could go home. i was there a whole 50 minutes and had the cold sweats and more nauseous then i had felt all week.

im giving this darn thing until wednesday to evacuate then im heading to the doctors thursday. i hate going to the doctor for the flu or cold cuz all they tell you is to rest and all that but i think with it being this long they well do something. unless of course this gets worse then i have to go in sooner.

during this whole week i also stopped drinking soda because of all the carbination in it in hopes that will slow the gas factor down. its been so hard to not have my diet pepsi everyday...i have been drinking hot tea instead for my caffine intake (which is still way down)...but only in the morning. food wise...not much really. mostly toast. i try to eat other things when i think im feeling a bit better but then the gas and cramping come back again and its back to toast and noodle soup for me the next day.

so how have you been? im hoping all this gets done with soon. 2007 hasnt been the best for me health wise. i know it could be worse and this is minor to what others have to go through but that is what i fear is slowly happening to me.

hope all is well with you....big hugs

It's been some week....

- mood has been crappy...depressed, cranky, sad, angry, worried

- had a huge blowout with my ex over the phone weds. night over something he said to my child that made her cry (more like a sobbing cry) and now having her all him a jerk. he's still an ASS and wonders why im still so angry at him.

- hubby said that he doesnt care for the ex even more since he has made "his" daughter cry.

- that was the most yelling i have done in 4 years. we dont yell is this house like that. that man is toxic to me. that is one reason i dont answer the phone when it shows his number on the caller i.d. I cant stand the sound of his voice.

- have had a headache most of the week and got worse after wednesday night.

- slight sinus cold going on. so with that my two teeth that are bothering me a little bother a little more.

- been taking a tylenol #2 every night this week to help relive the slight discomfort of my mouth and to help me sleep.

- my knee is so-so.

- something the women will understand: my favorite bra...the underwire broke.

- i have been worried about kiddo and how she is handling all this crap with her "birth father". she even said that she wanted her step dad to adopt her....but that is something we want her to really understand first and when she is a bit older. we dont want that decision to be made out of anger.

- im worried about kiddo and how she is doing in school. since before xmas break we (us and the doctor) decided to change her meds. after changing the dosage now for the third time we think we might have the right one. will know in another week after the teachers have a full complete "normal" week of school.

-kiddo is home today. there is no school due to teacher stuff. we only have to go out and get the materials for a project that we want to get completed this weekend that is due next thursday.

- i go back to work next week. only two shifts which is great...neither of which are closing shifts. but...my only gripe is...im available during the day during the week and i get both weekend days....opening shifts....long all day shifts. im worried about going back and not remembering things since im the manager on duty during those shifts.

-i will say that im very lucky to have such a great husband that is there for me and deals with all my emotional baggage and is the best example of what a father should be to his step daughter.

*sigh* my head hurts so im off to read my daily blogs, play a couple games online, and maybe even some scrapbooking (which i have gotten back into). not much of a post...but its a post. my mood just sucks the past few days.


hugs to you and here to a great weekend!
-

what did you do to deserve this?.....

wow....three days in a row with a post... im going to TRY...try being the main word there...to post a little something everyday or at least every other day instead of twice a week. that is my goal for my blog.

today ends having a house with no kiddo. i miss her terribly when she isnt here and always worry or thinking about what she might be doing...but i sure love being able to go out for the evening, not worry about how loud the tv is after 10pm, and spend some alone time with my hubby without the worry of little ears or her getting up if you know what i mean *wink wink*.

i was feeling a bit couped up after being sick for over a week so we decided to go play trivia at one of the local bars. another couple had joined us and was nice to for me to catch up with them since i dont see them often....hubby works with the guy so he hears everything they are doing often. we didnt do as great as we thought....we came in 4th place of 6 teams....YIKES! there was one question that we got wrong (it was a 50/50 shot question) and we lost by half a point to our other friends team...if only we got that one right i would have felt better...lol. overall though...we had a fun night out being each other date for the evening.

this afternoon im off to pick up kiddo and mother inlaw from her place 45 mins away. just after i get home from there i have to pick up hubby from work then get dinner going so we (me and MI) can get read to win some money at bingo.

im 99% sure my flu is finally gone so I started back on the knee meds yesterday. only two of the three pills...so far so good.

so what are your plans this weekend? no plans?....if not, enjoy your time relaxing :)

big hugs

First Post of 2007.....

HAPPY 2007!!!!

Im really hoping that going out of 2006 sick and coming into 2007 sick is a good sign. I am getting better with the flu part but now since i have been off my knee meds my knee is now officially killing me again. I went to the doctors yesterday morning and he told me that I did the right thing stopping the meds even though he is somewhat sure that I had the flu and to start the meds back up again once I feel better intestinally. I think today is the day. Im going to start off slow though....only 2 of the 3 pills for a few days and then back to normal. wish me luck! the doctor also pulled me from work for a few weeks until we get all this stuff straightened out with my guts and meds to say it nicely.

so as far as how i feel....lets just say im not redecorating the bathroom anymore and im eating more solid foods now. i did make the mistake the other night and ate some potstickers and not thinking about what was in them....cabbage! omg...i was so sick and in pain from the gas it created...felt like i was back to square one again with the flu. but by morning it had passed and new years morning was great.

did our usual new years thing.....cuddle up and watch all the new years eve shows on tv. i did however sleep from 8-11:30pm that night then managed to stay up until about 2:30 watching tv. then in the morning i was up at about 11am fixing breakfast for them and ready to watch the Tournement of Roses Parade. I have never missed the parade since as long as i could remember. I even went once when i was about 5 or 6 years old...i only remember getting up when it was still dark and taking a charter bus there and a bit of the parade. never as an adult did i want to conquer the crowds so i always watched it on tv.

kiddo is off to Mother in laws place for a couple days starting today so me and hubby get some alone time until friday afternoon when i go pick both kiddo and MI up. MI is going to then be staying with us for a couple nights and then we take her home sunday. cant take her to the flee market sunday like i normally do since the place had a major fire 3 weeks ago destroying the bowling alley and the hall that held the flee market.

I have decided to add something new to my blog. every week im going to post a list of Unconscious Mutterings. I came across Typical Woman (sue ellen) having them on her blog and decided to see what they were all about. when ever SueEllen has done it i try to see what my answer would be to those words and i find it very interesting that my answers change depending on the day and mood. here is my first and and there will be a new one each week.

Unconscious Mutterings

Resolution :: none

Happy :: times

Bubbly :: 7-up

Kiss :: me

Leather :: straps

Fancy :: face

Pages :: turn

Stupid :: flu

Apologize :: why

Secrets :: shhhhhh

hugs to you and hope all is well.