Fighting the blue devil....
Ah depression....such a fun thing to have to deal with.
talk to my mom last night for about a hour about everything going on with her and told her how i feel about certain things without her interrupting and also told her that is the last time im going to bring up this family mess since its never going to change and i cant change it....but at least she really truly knows how i feel about how she is being treated and how things are handled by one of my sisters. so...the only person i talk about this mess to now is hubby...not even on here. sorry to be so non discript about this but its major family drama that if i wrote about before and would take up way too much space here to go into it again.
depression....funny little mental thing it is. sometimes i can tell what triggers it and other times i have no clue. im so torn right now on what set it off ....might be all the stuff i talked to my mom about, the convo with hubby about stuff, his comment on how i should go visit them and my friend for my 40th birthday using our tax return money...a couple dreams i had last night that really bothered me....my knee....hubby possibly having another diverticulitis flare up (not sure just yet if thats whats bothering him)....kiddo being able to keep up in school with her issues even though her teachers are wonderful and are helping her as much as possible. could be one of these things or all of them in one big ball in my brain.
so many things going on in my head since late last night that when i woke up at 2am i couldnt get back to sleep until well after 5am sometime cuz i couldnt shut the voices in my head off. im so tired today and should have taken a nap but i just cant get myself to do that during the day even though im not doing anything that would prevent me from laying down.
my usual answer to all this stuff......::: "I DON'T KNOW".
on a good note ...but with the way im feeling it just adds to the stress in my head.... im eligible for my Canadian Citizenship as of February 18, 2007. i called for my application which i should get by next week. from what the person on the phone told me is once i turn it in it could take a month up to six months for the background checks to be completed and then i would get my booklet for testing and from then it could again take X amount of time until i go take my test depending on how often tests are done here on the island. then i wait again and then go sign and do ceremony when ever they do those (i think they do them twice a year). with the way it sounds my goal to have my citizenship before July 1st isnt going to be possible. oh well...i guess i can hope for having it all completed within this year....2007...the year i turn 40...wohoo!
hope you are well.....big hugs coming your way
talk to my mom last night for about a hour about everything going on with her and told her how i feel about certain things without her interrupting and also told her that is the last time im going to bring up this family mess since its never going to change and i cant change it....but at least she really truly knows how i feel about how she is being treated and how things are handled by one of my sisters. so...the only person i talk about this mess to now is hubby...not even on here. sorry to be so non discript about this but its major family drama that if i wrote about before and would take up way too much space here to go into it again.
depression....funny little mental thing it is. sometimes i can tell what triggers it and other times i have no clue. im so torn right now on what set it off ....might be all the stuff i talked to my mom about, the convo with hubby about stuff, his comment on how i should go visit them and my friend for my 40th birthday using our tax return money...a couple dreams i had last night that really bothered me....my knee....hubby possibly having another diverticulitis flare up (not sure just yet if thats whats bothering him)....kiddo being able to keep up in school with her issues even though her teachers are wonderful and are helping her as much as possible. could be one of these things or all of them in one big ball in my brain.
so many things going on in my head since late last night that when i woke up at 2am i couldnt get back to sleep until well after 5am sometime cuz i couldnt shut the voices in my head off. im so tired today and should have taken a nap but i just cant get myself to do that during the day even though im not doing anything that would prevent me from laying down.
my usual answer to all this stuff......::: "I DON'T KNOW".
on a good note ...but with the way im feeling it just adds to the stress in my head.... im eligible for my Canadian Citizenship as of February 18, 2007. i called for my application which i should get by next week. from what the person on the phone told me is once i turn it in it could take a month up to six months for the background checks to be completed and then i would get my booklet for testing and from then it could again take X amount of time until i go take my test depending on how often tests are done here on the island. then i wait again and then go sign and do ceremony when ever they do those (i think they do them twice a year). with the way it sounds my goal to have my citizenship before July 1st isnt going to be possible. oh well...i guess i can hope for having it all completed within this year....2007...the year i turn 40...wohoo!
hope you are well.....big hugs coming your way
Labels: citizenship, depression, family
posted by CaliGirl at
1:37 p.m.
