It's 3am ... (ended up being a very long post)
....and I cant sleep. not that i dont want to but I cant get comfy, my sinus are bugging me...think im getting a slight cold, and a zillion things running through my mind.
im so very tired though. i even took a tylonal#2 before bed...im very grogy but just cant sleep.
last nights doctor appointment with kiddo went good and i even got to talk to him about my knee since we were his last patients for the day. they didnt have my xrays yet but he was able to see if it was in the computer and it was. its official...he did comfirm it was arthritis in my knee and i told him its just getting worse and now im losing major sleep with the pain. we talked about it a bit and he put me on a med called Naprosin (sp?) and told me that if this doesnt work then the next step would be surgery on the knee.
im really hoping this is my magic pill. but the down fall is its a strong med and he told me that if it effects my stomach one little bit i have to stop it even if its helping my knee. so my mind is on that. i took one after dinner last night and so far my pain hasnt changed much....from a 10 maybe to an 8...but its something. he did say it would take a few days to reach maximum effect.
with all my knee problems i have been so down in the dumps and crumpy lately. i even snapped at my boss tuesday morning. i felt so bad cuz i totally didnt mean to and to top it off...the day i snap is his birthday. nice. i stress out before i have a shift worrying about my knee and how much its bothering me and how much its going to be hurting after my shift. i think about calling out sick every shift i have....but i cant since we are so short staffed i have nobody to cover me. i also think about quitting almost everyday but then i think that i only work 3 days a week to suck it up and do my job. i really do need to back it up to only 2 shifts a week for now until this knee stuff gets sorted. i dont even think he can do that for me right now with the lack of staff...i think 3 is where im at unless i quit. but when i think of quitting i think about how much that extra little bit a month helps us and dont think we could do without. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW. thats another big thing that has my mind going all the time and feeling down.
lets see, what else at 3:20am is keeping me up? oh another thing about work i will say since i dont talk about work on here ever. i really hate having to do the closing shifts. im such a parnoid person i hate being alone in the store after a certain time at night and specially after i close. but i have no choice right now in that either. since being short staffed and now with kiddo going to be out for holiday i can only do closings and i cant request time off since its christmas time. so sucks and after the holidays i have to take some "ME" time....yes even if i only work 2-3 shifts a week...i need a mini vacation for a few weeks to heal my knee and my head. i really do enjoy my job but im struggling with my knee and mental issues its killing me.
i have to finish christmas shopping this week...only a couple more things to get then let the wrapping begin.
i have to wash the dirt and salt off the car and at least get a nice layer of wax on it before the next weather system hits.
i have to get my eyebrows done soon.
i have to get the oil changed in the car....appointment made for that on thursday.
i have to do the dishes in the sink that have piled up. i really hate dishes!
i really do need sleep
its taken me over 30 minutes to write this. i struggle sometime to figure out what to not put on my blog not letting certain people know too much about me and my personal stuff here at home. i think i let enough out for you to get to know me but there is so much more to me that people dont know. its so hard for me to let people in...and even on here i have a hard time. i have trust issues ....there ....there is something about me. im paranoid and have trust issues, letting people into my world....this is one spot that i like to talk but i even censor myself on here knowing people in town read this....yes i see the IP address of quite a few in town checking it out. there are a few i know that do and i welcome you...but those that just want to know personal stuff about me and gossip...thats why i dont put certain things out there....there is so much gossip around here its like a wild fire. see....im paranoid.
anyway....now im truly rambling and looking like some crazy loopy woman on drugs. oh wait...im am.....lol....just wish it would work right now. im sitting in the living room on this computer while kiddo sleeps peacefully and hubby is now alone in our bedroom snoring away that i can hear through the closed door. all i want is sleep. i am now going to shut this down and figure out if its worth waking him and going back in there to toss and turn or just lay on the couch. he has work tomorrow and i hate keeping him up just cuz i cant sleep...he says he doesnt mind if im in there on the computer or turn the tv on in there to help me fall asleep...but i worry about him and me keeping him awake.
*sigh* see....another thing about me....im a major worry wart....MAJOR! i worry about everything and i cant stop no matter how hard i try.
ok...enough...turning this off and going to check out whats on tv at 345am in the morning.
sleep well my friend.....and hugs to you
im so very tired though. i even took a tylonal#2 before bed...im very grogy but just cant sleep.
last nights doctor appointment with kiddo went good and i even got to talk to him about my knee since we were his last patients for the day. they didnt have my xrays yet but he was able to see if it was in the computer and it was. its official...he did comfirm it was arthritis in my knee and i told him its just getting worse and now im losing major sleep with the pain. we talked about it a bit and he put me on a med called Naprosin (sp?) and told me that if this doesnt work then the next step would be surgery on the knee.
im really hoping this is my magic pill. but the down fall is its a strong med and he told me that if it effects my stomach one little bit i have to stop it even if its helping my knee. so my mind is on that. i took one after dinner last night and so far my pain hasnt changed much....from a 10 maybe to an 8...but its something. he did say it would take a few days to reach maximum effect.
with all my knee problems i have been so down in the dumps and crumpy lately. i even snapped at my boss tuesday morning. i felt so bad cuz i totally didnt mean to and to top it off...the day i snap is his birthday. nice. i stress out before i have a shift worrying about my knee and how much its bothering me and how much its going to be hurting after my shift. i think about calling out sick every shift i have....but i cant since we are so short staffed i have nobody to cover me. i also think about quitting almost everyday but then i think that i only work 3 days a week to suck it up and do my job. i really do need to back it up to only 2 shifts a week for now until this knee stuff gets sorted. i dont even think he can do that for me right now with the lack of staff...i think 3 is where im at unless i quit. but when i think of quitting i think about how much that extra little bit a month helps us and dont think we could do without. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW. thats another big thing that has my mind going all the time and feeling down.
lets see, what else at 3:20am is keeping me up? oh another thing about work i will say since i dont talk about work on here ever. i really hate having to do the closing shifts. im such a parnoid person i hate being alone in the store after a certain time at night and specially after i close. but i have no choice right now in that either. since being short staffed and now with kiddo going to be out for holiday i can only do closings and i cant request time off since its christmas time. so sucks and after the holidays i have to take some "ME" time....yes even if i only work 2-3 shifts a week...i need a mini vacation for a few weeks to heal my knee and my head. i really do enjoy my job but im struggling with my knee and mental issues its killing me.
i have to finish christmas shopping this week...only a couple more things to get then let the wrapping begin.
i have to wash the dirt and salt off the car and at least get a nice layer of wax on it before the next weather system hits.
i have to get my eyebrows done soon.
i have to get the oil changed in the car....appointment made for that on thursday.
i have to do the dishes in the sink that have piled up. i really hate dishes!
i really do need sleep
its taken me over 30 minutes to write this. i struggle sometime to figure out what to not put on my blog not letting certain people know too much about me and my personal stuff here at home. i think i let enough out for you to get to know me but there is so much more to me that people dont know. its so hard for me to let people in...and even on here i have a hard time. i have trust issues ....there ....there is something about me. im paranoid and have trust issues, letting people into my world....this is one spot that i like to talk but i even censor myself on here knowing people in town read this....yes i see the IP address of quite a few in town checking it out. there are a few i know that do and i welcome you...but those that just want to know personal stuff about me and gossip...thats why i dont put certain things out there....there is so much gossip around here its like a wild fire. see....im paranoid.
anyway....now im truly rambling and looking like some crazy loopy woman on drugs. oh wait...im am.....lol....just wish it would work right now. im sitting in the living room on this computer while kiddo sleeps peacefully and hubby is now alone in our bedroom snoring away that i can hear through the closed door. all i want is sleep. i am now going to shut this down and figure out if its worth waking him and going back in there to toss and turn or just lay on the couch. he has work tomorrow and i hate keeping him up just cuz i cant sleep...he says he doesnt mind if im in there on the computer or turn the tv on in there to help me fall asleep...but i worry about him and me keeping him awake.
*sigh* see....another thing about me....im a major worry wart....MAJOR! i worry about everything and i cant stop no matter how hard i try.
ok...enough...turning this off and going to check out whats on tv at 345am in the morning.
sleep well my friend.....and hugs to you
posted by CaliGirl at
3:09 a.m.
